Goodbye

Good-bye

I can take it no more,
Lying about my happiness,
Concealing my true feelings,
Hiding in pointless optimism.

If I don't stop now,
I am afraid of what will happen,
What I'll become,
As I slowly torture you.

Kindness can be a sin,
For me at least.
When the hidden rage builds up,
It'll only hurt you more.

I fear I will become heartless,
And lose sight.
For a simple goal,
Which turns to madness.

Nothing is simple,
There is always motive.
Mine is revenge,
And to win your heart.

For this I must say my goodbye,
I must cut the thin bond we share.
I must go elsewhere,
Love elsewhere.

I don't know if we can be friends,
For I fear this curse,
A thirst for blood,
But I don't want to hurt you.

It hurts me to watch,
You with her.
Sorry but I can't continue.
I suppose you'll lose me too.

I'm doing this to keep the bandage,
Not for hatred.
You deserve it,
You deserve to be loved.

So for now I'll conceal my true feelings,
My sadness and rage,
All for you,
To keep you safe.

I look to someone else,
I can wait no more,
Standing here,
I must leave.

I can't be here if you come down my path,
When this ends,
I can't be here,
If she hurts you.

I join my friend's side,
He'll be here,
When I cry,
Unlike you.

I cried in front of you,
Shielding my eyes,
I'm so sorry,
You don't understand.

For now I'll love someone else,
For now I'll rot alone,
I can't do this,
Not anymore.

I don't think I have the courage,
To love him;
It's unfair,
Must I let him go too?

Now I lie,
And die slowly,
Bleeding alone,
I say my goodbye.

My masochistic drug,
The pain I long for.
I guess some wishes never come true,
Even if all I want was to be loved.